• Desiree Montesano

This Mom Shaming Crap

The past 5 days I've been a little quiet on Instagram. You all no, I'm an open book. I share everyday, a lot about oils, the gym, the baby, cooking etc. When my baby is sick, or my family needs me, the phone is down. It's all about finding balance, that goes for life! Sometime's you're just not in the mood or just don't have time to talk. This happens to everyone! Over the past few days I received a few negative DM's. I could care less, what anyone has to say about my parenting style. When someone goes out of their way to tell you your doing something wrong , or your wrong on how your treating your child's virus...

So now, I'm going to way in on this #momshaming topic.

Why do Moms shame other Moms?

They aren't confident in themselves?

They are jealous of your lifestyle?

They are mentally not living in a happy place?

The list goes on and on.

Have we all commented on another mom's technique yup, have we all gabbed with our friends about other ways moms do things sure. Even bullshitting to our husband. To actually tell another mother that what they are doing "is wrong" is kind of ridiculous. Don't we all ultimately want the same thing? To raise happy, smart, healthy little humans.

One would think so.

I'm going to use myself as an example because I can. I've know for as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a mother. I love to nurture and care for my baby myself, day in and day out. So when my husband and I decided I was going to be a SAHM I was so happy and fortunate that I could do that. I feel my purpose is being a mother. I get 100% fulfillment from this job everyday. Some woman don't. I don't ever sit home and shame those mom's who work full-time jobs and then come home and make dinner and spend as much time with their little ones as they can, I applaud them.

I've been shamed for a bunch of things since I was pregnant!!!

You do #crossfit pregnant, that's so bad to lift and do those workouts!

Yes and my coach is awesome at modifying a work out, and I feel amazing.

Oh your having a C-section.. you don't want a natural birth?

Well if it's for the safety of my baby and myself, I'm totally ok with c-section

(as i get a mani/pedi and a blowout)

You breastfeed in public don't you care if people can see your boob. It's not appropriate.

Oh really, don't you want to eat when your hungry, so does my baby.

You lost your baby weight already, you must be neglecting your baby if your at the gym already!! ( this one was my favorite)LOL

Actually my husband knows I'm miserable if I don't exercise, so he's helping me achieve my goals so we have a happy home:)

Your co-sleeping, that's so dangerous/your kid will never want to be alone.

Well yes we co sleep, bc I breastfeed on demand. My daughter was in her crib at 5 months actually, no problem.

You think being a mom is easy, your faking it..

Well actually asshole I do. It's what I make of it. Some days are good, some are ok. Being a mother is amazing and fun, and rewarding.

As I said before this list also goes on and on...

If I can help shed the light or give a tip, be confident in yourself. If you are, then you know deep down inside your happy with the life you have made for yourself. You will teach your kid the difference between right and wrong and they won't grow up being a bully. The beautiful thing is, if you don't like your life, change it. The reason my head is full of positivity and always looking at the glass half full is because I chose this amazing life journey I am living. #momshaming is total bullshit! We are showing our kids a horrible example if we are always critical of other moms or even ourselves. Being real and honest on Instagram alone has made me connect with some pretty cool moms. I love that I started a blog, I love sharing these feelings of vulnerability with everyone who reads or watches my story.

If you work, stay home, are rich, are poor, like all natural products, use essential oils, eat mc-donalds.. I don't care, stop comparing yourself to others and then you won't feel the need to always judge. Just know there is an answer for every problem in your life. If you create the best version of you with a healthy mind and body you will notice a huge change in the way you view other moms. So the word mom shaming is done for me, because it's so much deeper than that. There is a deep rooted issue if you constantly are doing this to feel better about yourself.

Make your life great :)

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